


Repercussions

by Cobralingus



Series: 12 Days of Firefly [1]
Category: Firefly
Genre: Accidental Alien Sex, All Cyanese are blue in the dark, Kidfic, Tropemas, Weasel-kittens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 22:17:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17394710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cobralingus/pseuds/Cobralingus
Summary: This was not a delivery Jayne was expecting.





	Repercussions

“Jayne! Package for you!” shouted Mal down the passageway. It was too heavy to be another hat from the man’s doting mother - at least he hoped it was - but too nicely packaged to be anything really dangerous. Jayne had never been the type to attract assassins. Just a succession of men with enormous guns waiting to shoot him.

Surprisingly few women, come to think of it. The man must have some hidden talents that Mal absolutely did not want to imagine and now he was and oh _gods_ he needed a stiff drink. 

“JAYNE!”

“Hold your horses, Mal, I’m coming,” Jayne grunted as he swung himself up the ladder of his bunk.

A cacophony of footsteps ringing off the metal walkways heralded the arrival of the rest of the crew. 

Kaylee chirped, “Oh good, you’re both okay, Captain. I thought from the way you were shouting that maybe Jayne had decided to take up one of those offers he had back in the bar…” she trailed off as both men looked at her. “Anyways, look at that, mail! Anything good?”

Inara shook her head affectionately at her friend’s awkward change of topic. “More to the point, has anything arrived for the rest of us? I’m expecting an invitation within the hour.”

“Nothing for anyone except Jayne here,” said the Captain, scowling at the other man. “And I hope for his sake that this package isn’t payment for any jobs he may or may not have been offered back at this bar.”

A rustle of packaging distracted everyone from Mal’s words. Jayne had gotten the lid off his box and was staring down at the contents in confusion.

“What the…” he muttered as the bundle of blue fur started stirring.

“Are those… kittens?!” squealed Kaylee. “Let me see!” She reached into the box and lifted out a tiny body bearing a closer resemblance to a mink than a kitten. Three more small heads popped up as their companion was removed; after sniffing the air, they swarmed unhesitatingly up Jayne’s arms. 

He dropped the box in shock. “Get them off! Get them off me!”

“No point. They know their own kind. Recognize you by smell,” offered River as she uncurled herself from the ramp mechanism.

“‘Own kind’? What do you mean, their own kind?” shrieked Jayne, who was still struggling to contain the furry creatures running all over his torso.

“Ah.”

The cargo bay fell silent at the sound of Inara’s voice, though Jayne was still wrestling with the furry animals. She had retrieved a datapad from the bottom of the box and was scrolling through it rapidly. She looked up, dark eyes flashing amusement and irritation in equal measure. For once, the expression was directed at Jayne, not the Captain.

“Jayne, I don’t suppose you recall the night you spent on Cyan last year when the rest of us were on its moon doing actual work?”

“Sure I do. I was getting information out of the locals. Some of them were downright friendly, you know.”

“Yes, I do know. And it seems as though they were getting more out of you than you were out of them. The kits are yours.”

Simon choked. Zoe snorted. The others were too dumbstruck to move, let alone comment. Even Jayne froze in his struggles to contain the furry blue creatures.

“Mine?” he asked eventually.

“So it seems. I suppose you don’t recall anyone named Rialla?”

“Well, sure I do, but she was just a regular girl, I swear! I mean, she was a little hairier than most, but plenty of women are hairy. I never let that bother me if it don’t bother them. Are you saying she was some sort of alien?”

“Jayne. The Cyanese have tails. Did you honestly not notice hers?” Mal asked sharply.

“...no?”

“I don’t even want to think about how a man fathers a litter of furry blue aliens without noticing that their mother has a tail,” muttered Wash.

“It was dark, okay? And I was…”

The Captain snapped, “Zhùkǒu! I don’t want to know what you were!”

“But we’re keeping them, right, Captain?” Kaylee and River had extricated Jayne from his offspring and were in a pile on the floor cuddling them. “I mean, they’re just babies. It’s not their fault their daddy don’t know how to pay attention.”

Mal rubbed his forehead where a headache was already springing into existence. “No, we are not keeping Jayne’s half-alien weasel-kittens. They are going back to their mother on Cyan and that’s the end of it.”

“No, they’re not,” said Inara.

“Are you telling me how to run my ship?” the man asked, his voice low and dangerous.

“I’m telling you they don’t have a mother. Rialla died after an accident in the settlement. Radiation leak. After her debts were paid off, there was just enough money left that her friends could put the kits into stasis and send them here to Jayne. They have nowhere else to go.”

Mal scowled before sighing in resignation. “Huh. Well then. I guess we’ve got ourselves some weasel-kittens to bring up.”


End file.
